Saturday, October 22, 2016

I had a great 7 mile taper run today, gorgeous day here in Oregon. I'm 1 week until my first ultramarathon in 3 years, a 50K. I have a knee doctor's appointment on Wednesday, a 1 year check up with the surgeon who did my double ACL and meniscus repair. I didn't have to make it, my choice. I do have another story for you, it's personal and a little crazy. I'll try to be brief. I've been a distance runner since 2005 when I ran my first marathon, I ran my first 50K in 2008, first 50 miler in 2010 and first 100 miler in 2012. I was really good at running, the longer the distance the more boastful I became. I mean I could close my eyes and run down the street without tripping or falling. I of course put running before EVERYTHING, even God. When I suffered through depression in 2011-2013, I would remember running being my companion, a friend. I told my husband, "you'll know I'm really bad if I quit running!", but never did. I in fact trained for my first 100, dove myself into it, consumed by it. This was about the time that I started my Facebook page Dare to be Different, an inspirational page that grew to over 26,000 likes. The running and the page were something that I could control when my life seemed to be out of my control. I would even run 25+ miles with the stomach flu, a couple of Redwood trees got my illness. I'd throw up and just keep running, well I felt better! Someone could have criticized my running and I would have been quick to defend. I'd pray when I would be in bed, consumed with emotion and ask God to hold my hand and I would imagine him doing so. I didn't feel like anyone else was comforting me, the kids were too young. I realized that God wanted to be my main source of comfort, even though I had put running above him. His grace and love for me are so good. I mean, He gave me this gift and I put it above him! I'm so sorry. Am I worried about what the doctor might tell me? Nope, God's in control. I'm not worried. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” Psalm 16:2

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