Sunday, May 21, 2023

Happy 80th to my beautiful mother

I'm truly grateful to have my mom still, and in such good health that she planned her own 80th birthday party.


A mom's love is like no other. A mom is someone we look up to when we're younger. I likely took advantage of her love as a teenager and didn't understand it until I had children of my own.

Mom's sacrifice a lot of their time, sleep, needs, and reputation sometimes and are often on their knees in prayer on their children's behalf.

An example of this is the love of Mary, the mother of Jesus who watched her Son die a horrible death on the cross. I can't imagine her pain. I only wonder if her reputation was damaged because of those who chose not to believe in Him, who mocked, despised, tortured, and killed Him. Her love for Him was great, but watching Jesus being treated the way He was crushed her.

My own mom has the appearance of being strong, but I wonder if she is a lot like me: it's just an appearance. My mom left home when she was 18 and paid for her own college. She was a high school teacher for many years. I understand the sacrifices she made to ensure my siblings and I had a wonderful childhood: we truly were blessed. I understand her flexibility now in allowing us the freedom to have our own rituals during the holidays. Her pain and loneliness when her children left home. I had sympathy for her when she lost her husband 10 years ago: my father.


Yesterday, we celebrated with her her 80th birthday, and she was bubbly and cheerful, surrounded by many of her friends and family. I hope she feels so loved because she really is, and I know I don't tell her enough.

Thursday, May 18, 2023

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

One sunny Saturday afternoon, I'm sitting outside with my husband, and I say, "Our neighborhood is so boring!" I said this because
nobody else was sitting outside, walking by, playing outside, doing yard work, or riding their bikes. It was like a deserted ghost town. I recently read that the average person spends 93 percent of their lives outdoors. It would appear people would much rather spend their days in a square box with artificial lighting than outdoors in nature, listening to the birds.

Being someone who suffers from depression, when it is nice enough, I'm outdoors as much as possible. It's good for the soul. We are new empty nesters, and I have to say, I enjoy it. I might have even smiled a little when I saw my backyard neighbor clearly scolding her child. Gone are those days for us. But still, I need to find ways to destress and not take on all the woes, negativity, and ugliness of this world. I need to diligently seek out the positives. One of the ways that I can do that is to make my priorities a continuous top priority. Here are the ways that I do that:

1. I no longer let the dogs out of their room. My husband does it. I love my dogs like the next person, but since I'm not a morning person, their hyperactivity and bit of annoyingness is too much 1st thing in the morning. Don't worry, they are let out 20 minutes later, and we get up early.

2. In the morning, I read my bible while drinking my tea, with headphones on listening to pleasant instrumental music. Since I started Theology school 8 years ago (I graduated with a master's), I have been reading the same thing. I read 2 chapters from the New Testament, 1 Psalm, 1 Proverb, and 3-4 from the Old Testament. You don't have to read as much as I do, but picking up something as positive as the Bible and spending time with God 1st thing in the morning is a great start to the day. You even journal your thoughts if you'd rather.

3. Keep a book of remembrance and a book of thanks. The book of remembrance is to write down things that have beebeen a blessing for you, something that you cherished, something God has done for you. The book of thanks is a book of things you're thankful for the day, and try to write new things.

4. Exercise for at least an hour a day. I am a runner, but I got a stress fracture 3 weeks ago, so I've been cycling again. I ride on a scenic bike route, and love the sites, the beauty of nature, and the thrill. But, I miss running. I also lift weights at home 4 times a week. I have 2 dogs, so once I'm healed up, I'll take them again on their walks. My husband has been doing this after work.

5. Turn the news (garbage TV) off and find a good book to read outside.

6. Send people hand written notes just because or to thank them for something kind they did instead of sending them a text. When was the last time you got a handwritten note? You'll put a smile on their face, I promise.

7. When I'm at my best, I enjoy making dinner. I enjoy coming up with new recipes. Lately, since becoming an empty nester, I've been cooking for 6 when it's only the 2 of us, not sure what that is about.

8. Don't keep your cell phone near you at all times. You don't need it, especially when you're at dinner with others. Next time you're at a restaurant, look at how many people are on their phones instead of being fully present with others. It's rude. Put it away.

9. Keep a to-do list or a daily planner so you don't forget things. I even go as far as keeping a helpful life tips. I have in their things like when it's the best day to go to DEQ, when my daughter was engaged, the last time we bought our sheets, etc.

10. Laugh. Laughter is joy. Laugh as much as you possibly can. Laughter is the best medicine. Proverbs 17:22 says, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

11. De-stress: Breathe in, then out and say, "God, I give everyone and everything to you."

Monday, May 15, 2023

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

We celebrated Mother's Day at our house yesterday. We had a barbecue, and I made everyone Dirty Monkey's. It's an alcoholic drink we learned about in Costa Rica. It's delicious, and many have noted they can't taste the alcohol. But, it actually has quite a bit. My dog Phoenix loves it when we make them because she's been to Dutch Bros so many times. She knows what the can of whip cream is.

One of my daughters gave me the beautiful flowering plant, and the other gave me the adorable cat planter that I had my eye on when I went to Fred Meyer's.

I've raised my children, we are empty nester's. I once heard on the radio about a poll that was taken: who's happier,married couples with kids or without? It was with, but only when they are out of the house. If you know our story, you know parenting wasn't always easy. One of our daughters had a bad boyfriend and lost her way for a while. It was really hard. She was the same loving daughter that I had always known, but he clearly wasn't right for her and was hurting her emotionally. The lessons I learned from the experience are:

#1 Give it to God and let go of the situation. Just tell your child you love them.
#2 Allow other people to intervene into their lives,to speak truth, light, and love to them.
#3 Speak how you want to see them living, not how they currently are. For example, in this case. "My daughter is with who God has planned for." And, speak Bible Verses over them daily. Never give up.

That daughter is now doing so much better, happy, and in a great relationship. My other daughter is married and happy. They are both sweet, loving, intelligent, and beautiful girls. I'm proud of them immensely.