Monday, August 5, 2013

Being strong in the midst of troubles

My husband has been out of work since March. While for some, having a husband who is the provider becoming unemployed all of a sudden would be a nightmare. It has been a big blessing, on the whole family.

We instantly moved out of CA in April of 2013 and we went home to Oregon. While living in CA for 2 years there were good times and bad. I liked all the people that I met at church and the Crossfit gym there. Crossfit came in my life at a time that I needed it the most, in my most depressed state; The experience that I learned from being terribly depressed changed me for the better in the long run. Depression is ugly; I chose to run my first 100 and succeeded; The newspaper in Crescent City published a 1 page story on me after I ran the 100; My experience with Alvin the bear; The many up close encounters with Elk. But in the end after so many prayers, it was time to leave.

We have been just fine financially. We had built up enough of a savings and with the help of family and of course a good unemployment check, we have been okay. We have food, mortgage is paid for, and I’ve done a few races. Although some races did get cut for me and sacrifices had to be made for everyone.

Tragedy struck for me mostly when I got back, one after the other, I was hit with one bad thing after the other. When it seemed like one trouble was the worst ever, something else happened on top of that. The worst being my father dying and watching him die. I cried many times. The tragedy with my dad hurt all of us, the whole family, but brought us closer. While some things haven't been the same, they will go back to normal. I have faith in that. Family really is the most important part of life.

My faith in my now "silent" God was questioned but I'm beginning to understand why. Sometimes the answer of no is for a very good reason. Bigger plans, better plans are in store. I've survived it all and I'm getting stronger every single day and things are really looking up. He'll get a job, I'll be able to go back to school, the kids are going to be okay, our marriage is fine, and we have survived so much all ready in our marriage, now 11 years.

I told my mom in my dad's hospital room that she was the strongest person I knew. She was surprised, but it sank in. I'm like her. I'm strong, just young and have a lot to learn.

Be strong in your own struggles, there will be a light soon enough.

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