I read an article on ‘ghostmothers". It was a name given to mothers from the 1800’s who would hide behind a blanket with their child on their laps. This was a way of comforting and supporting them during a photo shoot, simply eerie. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2155681/Old-portraits-children-creepy-ghostmothers-background-far-mums-good-photo.html
Today’s generation of mothers are still hiding behind their children and it is time that we stop! Too often moms are putting their husband and kids needs first and their needs second. This creates women who have lost touch with who they are as individuals. We are not are kids, we are not our husbands; we are our own unique selves with our own thoughts, passions and goals!
My children are 2 years apart; they are currently 13 and 11. I love my kids just like any other mother. If you asked me to, I could talk nonstop about them. They are smart, unique and active in sports and school. However, I don’t talk about them nonstop and I don’t always allow their needs to come before mine. If you were to view my social media page, you would find that it is filled with mostly inspirational messages with little mention of my children. I’ve told my daughter she couldn’t play fall AND then spring soccer because quite honestly, my activities would get pushed to the side and ignored.
In 2003, when my youngest was 3 months old, I began the Body for Life program. My goal was to lose 20 lbs and I began by just walking up and down the townhouse that we lived in. This soon led to running for 20 minutes, 3 days a week until one day I ran out of the blue 9 miles on the treadmill. Man, I felt good! In 2004, I watched the marathon runners on television and I was so intrigued by them. I remember thinking, “I could do that!” I decided to act upon this desire when I received an invitation to train for a marathon a few months later. I put my beer down and looked up on the computer “marathon training, Portland, OR” and that began a series of one good, goal oriented decisions after another. Training, I had to wait till my husband came home because the kids were not in school and too young to stay home by themselves. I ran in the evenings and on the weekends. I was the mother of young children and I was actively pursuing my goals! For those who do not know me, I’ve run a 100 miler, 71 miles, 7 50’s, numerous marathons and 50K’s, along with triathlons. As well, I am active in Crossfit. I’m very goal oriented and am extremely active. My kids have always known me to be athletic, with the most outrageously high goals. A trait, I know they have ingrained within themselves.
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? If your old
boyfriend (the one you still are speaking to) came to your door in the next 5 minutes would you be horrified with the way that you look or hey no sweat, you look really good? Are you wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt or have you dressed in a way that shows off your figure? Is your hair brushed, do you have makeup on? Or did you just throw whatever on from your dresser, clean enough, while your child is dressed in something adorable? What would you talk about? How are you doing? Would you talk only about your kids, after you apologized for the mess? Or would talk about a combination of your kids and your latest and greatest adventure? Personally, I don’t dress in sweats and baggy sweatshirts during the day. I dress well, I put my makeup on, I shave my legs and I don’t do it for my spouse, I do it for me! Honestly, my husband is gone a lot; he works 7-5 and then heads to Crossfit or to coach basketball. I look my best for me and I feel good.
One of the most powerful women that I know is Norma Bastidas. Norma is a single mother of 2 sons. In 2014, she embarked in the world’s longest triathlon, a distance of over 3,700 miles from Cancun, Mexico to Washington D.C in 65 days. Her mission was to combat human trafficking and empower thousands of survivors all over the world. She also wanted to show her two sons that anything is possible; one of those sons has an incurable eye disease. When I met Norma in 2012, she was running solo from Vancouver, British Columbia Canada to Mazatlan Sinaloa Mexico her birth city. I met up with her where I was living in Crescent City, CA. You can read more about Norma here: