Alcohol advertisers spend about $2 billion per year on alcohol ads. So, through the media, we're constantly bombarded with alcohol ads. The ads suggest that after a long, hard day, we've earned the right to relax and have a drink. The ads say, "Going out with friends? Relax and have a drink! Are you stressed, bored, lonely, or need to relax? Have a drink!" Why has drinking alcohol become the catalyst for fun and relaxation? Is drinking the answer? We see our favorite celebrities and beautiful people drinking. They're laughing and having a good time. Advertisers have portrayed drinking alcohol as something good, happy, and even sexy because they are paid a lot of money to do so. We see these ads and compare what we see with our lives, which may be less than glamorous and a little lonely. We think that we, too, can be like those people if we only drink alcohol. It's a pressure.
There is this expectation in our society that by the time we are 21, we have earned the right to have an alcoholic drink. Young adults are asked, "Where are you going out on your 21st birthday?" "Who's going to be your designated driver?" And everyone close to the young adult wants to witness that "special" moment in their life. It implies that the 21-year-old is going to drink. Well, why not? They are finally 21! Right? That's pressure.
There is nothing wrong with most people having a drink or two. Many people can and will continue to enjoy drinking alcohol, and they will never cause any problems to themselves or others. But there is this constant portrayal of alcohol through the media that we won't be hurt by drinking, that it is normal and fun. In reality, drinking has a dark side. Alcohol is a drug and can cause problems. Drinking alcohol causes people to make bad decisions; alcohol can cause accidents, illness, disease, fights, abuse, sexual assaults, injury, and death. According to the CDC, about 178,000 people die from excessive alcohol use in the U.S. each year. When we lived in California, a teacher had a few drinks one night at an adult party, and he drove home. He ended up hitting another driver, and the victim died in an accident. The teacher went to jail. He was a family man and a well-respected teacher who made a terrible choice one evening and had to pay the consequences for a horrible decision. I also know people who have had a few too many drinks and have been seriously injured.
I have two adult daughters, yet when my kids were young, I was hurting from a situation that I was in, and so I drank to numb my pain. Back then, I'd have more than a 5-ounce glass of wine, sometimes several, or I'd drink hard alcohol. My bottom was the day when my daughter was in preschool. I had at least six shots within a few hours. When it was time to pick her up, I drove to get her with my younger daughter in the car. Luckily for everyone, I didn't have to drive far, but I was still in no position to do so. I remember putting them in my car to drive home. My neighbor was parked next to me, and I swore he looked at me strangely. For weeks, I thought he and everyone at the church preschool knew, but nobody said anything. I was so ashamed of what I did. For years, I didn't mention this incident to anyone until one day, I read somewhere, "What is kept in darkness has power over you." I knew that Satan had control over me in this situation, and so I confessed it to my Bible study. And, the roof didn't come tumbling down upon me. I was prayed for and delivered, and I felt so much relief.
Years later, I had my drinking under control. I spent many years as a long-distance runner between the time my kids were little and 2013. Running was my outlet, not wine, even though I enjoy it occasionally. I would have just one glass of wine. It was enough for me. After seriously injuring my knee, I was told by a physician that I wasn't an alcoholic but was addicted to wine. When he asked how much I drank, I sarcastically replied, "Well, a glass is considered 5 ounces, but since I don't like to follow rules, I have 6 ounces." I only had one 5–6-ounce glass of red wine for years. I even measured it. My husband always asked me why I needed to keep measuring it. Well, because I enjoyed my evening glass of wine, which came within the 7 o'clock hour, and didn't want to shortchange myself. If I had a late outing, coming home at 8, I'd still have a little. I was considered a wine snob. I told everyone that it was biblical to drink, as 1 Timothy 5:23 says, "No longer drink water exclusively, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments." I didn't necessarily have a problem with drinking by any alcoholic definition: I was not an alcoholic. But it was a problem. And there was always this nagging feeling that I needed to stop my nightly glass of wine. I was addicted to it and became way too dependent upon it. As a religious person, drinking wine had become my idol. Instead of turning to God, I turned to my beloved glass of wine.
I was part of "fun" Facebook pages and groups that made you feel that it was OK to drink a lot. Some people admitted to normalizing drinking a whole bottle of wine. There were fun pictures with cute sayings that made drinking fun, even the photos with a woman with her head in the toilet. No, this isn't funny or normal.
I have been suffering from depression since 2021. My nightly glass of wine was relaxing. I looked forward to it. Yet, my nagging feeling that I should quit drinking became more urgent. I felt that if I quit drinking, I'd be able to sleep better at night. I took 1000 mg of Valerian root, 5 mg of melatonin, and 75 ml of CBD oil. Yet, it was hard to sleep soundly. I always woke up. As a person who loves studying and researching. I started studying. I learned that nobody with depression should drink alcohol. It is a depressant and can make depression worse, especially if you're not sleeping. Heavy users of alcohol can make their antidepressants less effective.
I quit having my nightly glass of wine on October 3rd, 2023, and have slept well since then. I have had some alcohol since then to taste, but I get overwhelmingly sleepy, and I don't want it. I don't want to drink. If you, too, would like to quit drinking alcohol for whatever reason may be, know that you are not alone. You can get control of it. There's no reason to be ashamed. For starters, I recommend speaking with your doctor and a trusted person. I also recommend the book Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker. It is written for women, but honestly, anyone can read it and get so much out of it.
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