Saturday, October 22, 2016
I had a great 7 mile taper run today, gorgeous day here in Oregon. I'm 1
week until my first ultramarathon in 3 years, a 50K. I have a knee
doctor's appointment on Wednesday, a 1 year check up with the surgeon
who did my double ACL and meniscus repair. I didn't have to make it, my
choice. I do have another story for you, it's personal and a little
crazy. I'll try to be brief. I've been a distance runner since 2005 when
I ran my first marathon, I ran my first 50K in 2008, first
50 miler in 2010 and first 100 miler in 2012. I was really good at
running, the longer the distance the more boastful I became. I mean I
could close my eyes and run down the street without tripping or falling.
I of course put running before EVERYTHING, even God. When I suffered
through depression in 2011-2013, I would remember running being my
companion, a friend. I told my husband, "you'll know I'm really bad if I
quit running!", but never did. I in fact trained for my first 100, dove
myself into it, consumed by it. This was about the time that I started
my Facebook page Dare to be Different, an inspirational page that grew
to over 26,000 likes. The running and the page were something that I
could control when my life seemed to be out of my control. I would even
run 25+ miles with the stomach flu, a couple of Redwood trees got my
illness. I'd throw up and just keep running, well I felt better!
Someone could have criticized my running and I would have been quick to
defend. I'd pray when I would be in bed, consumed with emotion and ask
God to hold my hand and I would imagine him doing so. I didn't feel like
anyone else was comforting me, the kids were too young. I realized that
God wanted to be my main source of comfort, even though I had put
running above him. His grace and love for me are so good. I mean, He
gave me this gift and I put it above him! I'm so sorry. Am I worried
about what the doctor might tell me? Nope, God's in control. I'm not
worried. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no
good thing.” Psalm 16:2
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