Hey did you hear that I'm training for 50 and afraid to run?

Have you ever heard of a runner who is training for 50 miles that was fearful of running?

This is me.

The pictures are proof that I can run.

Yes, you heard me correct. I have a mental block, I guess, completely afraid to run.

The reason? For a few years now, it has been my goal to run the Mt. Hood 50 miler. I am now signed up for it, the run is scheduled for July 30th, 2011 and it will be my 2nd 50.

A few weeks ago, I pulled my hamstring, 3 days later, it went out again on a walk, well I jogged slowly for about 30 seconds. I pulled out of a difficult race coming up, the McDonald Forest 50K. It is a good decision, I know. But, according to the 50 mile training schedule, training started yesterday, Monday. It only starts out at 2. I walked it. I kept hearing in my head, try to run, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Too afraid.
I came home, complained a little on Facebook, this led to a doctor replying and a friend telling me to go on chat. Well they both helped me through it. I knew that I had to conquer this silly fear or it was going to kill me.
At first I kept walking back and forth in front of my house, pacing. I would limp around or whatever you want to call it, it wasn't running, it was strange. I wondered how many of my neighbors were watching. I then decided to go change so that I could look like a runner, at least. I started off real slowly, I mean really slowly, completely freaked out.

But then I saw 2 pennies. And I remembered an email and movie that I read and saw. The email said that when you find a penny, it means an angel is thinking of you and the movie said pennies are only good luck when they are heads up. They were heads up. I picked them up.

While I only went .78 on Monday, I did go 2 today and yes I was nervous, but not freaked out.

Hey, I'm training for 50 miles. Aren't I making progress?