Mt. Hood 50, 7-30-11

I ran the Mt. Hood 50 miler on Saturday, July 30th.

The night before, a group of us runners met up at the Ice Axe Grill for burgers and it was really nice meeting and visiting. I had a huge hamburger with fries and ate the whole thing. After, a friend and I went for a short walk.

I did not sleep much at all the night before as predicted and my alarm clock never did need to go off, I was up way before 4 AM and out the door at 4:30 to the race site, about 30 min down the road from the hotel.

Prior to starting, I thought to myself, "I really don't want to run for the next 12 hours" But that is exactly what happened.

Starting off was cool, but not bad and it was fairly light out to see the ground. All the runners that started at the early start were sure quiet in the wee morning hours. And, I was really feeling good the first 1/2 of the race, which was 28 miles. It was an out and back, 14 miles out, then back. I forced myself to eat a peanut butter power bar, but it took me a good 1 1/2 hours to finish it. After that first powerbar, I really didn't eat  much. I was craving oranges, which were gone by the time I reached the aid stations. During the first half, I met up with a lot of people that I knew and it was fun to chat with them. I did meet up with Stephanie Duncan somewhere during the first 1/2 and we ran together the whole remainder of the run and it was a lot of fun.There were some beautiful views of the mountain, just you couldn't look at it for long because the trail was narrow and on a cliff. Sure death if you fell. Oh and bad place to go by the people coming back from the out and back. Oh well.

At the 1/2 or 28 miles, I stopped at my drop bag, changed my socks and noticed my feet were already black, I re-filled my camelbak, got more supplies and headed for the Honey Bucket. I met up with Stephanie and we headed out again, but not feeling so fresh this time around for the remaining 22 miles. And we started walking the hills, where as prior, I was running up most of them.The remainder of the run was a blurr. It was hot, lots of dust was flying up. Stephanie and I chatted a lot and complained a lot. We started joking by telling people that our goal was to finish last and tie for it. But we quickly realized we were not going to be last. We then just started counting down the miles to the next aid station and the next. The 2 mile hill at mile 43 was brutal. I tripped at least twice during the race, but never fell. I did get a huge blister on my toe and one my toes may be black. I'll have to take off the polish to check.

I was feeling better towards the end, guess I got a second wind. Stephanie and I were both talking about how at our last 50 we sprinted to the finish line. I said to her prior to finishing that I didn't want to sprint and she said she didn't want to either. But just before the finish, I said "Stephanie, lets sprint!" So we were giggling at the finish. It says on the race results that she came in 1 second after me, but we were tied! We were not competing with each other. Although, I was happy to be done I think I could have gone further.

I think what really hurt me was that I was constantly craving those oranges and nothing else, but when I got to the aid stations, they were gone. I had to rely on Gu's, which I don't normally eat. I drank plenty of water, I thought. But only went to the bathroom once. During the entire race, I ate 1 1/2 powerbars,  a cliff bar, few oranges, other snacky food, but not much really. I had a lot of those salt caps, which have always helped prevent cramping in my legs.

After finishing, I had about 1/2 of a hamburger and diet Dr. Pepper.

When I got back to the hotel, I took a shower. It took about 10 minutes to get all the dirt off of my feet, even had to soak them for awhile. It then took me 1 1/2 hours to eat a can of ravioli's and 1/2 of my Subway Sandwich. I took 3 pain killers throughout the night and a sleeping pill. I didn't go to bed as early as I would have liked, 10 PM. But only because I took such a long time to eat. I woke up quite a bit during the night. I even got up twice to eat more. I ate a banana and a powerbar. I had to pee a lot also.

In the morning, I just put on sweatpants and a sweater and headed down to the lobby only to be surprised by how busy the lobby was. I looked horrible, eyes were all puffy and I was not awake. I ran into another runner and we chatted for a few minutes. I stayed down at the lobby for about a hour. I drank 2 cups of coffee, 3 cups of apple juice and ate 2 hard boiled eggs, a muffin and an orange. But again, took me forever.

When I got back to my room, I had another 5 hour energy drink, but almost took a nap on the couch. I then ate a banana and the 2nd 1/2 of my Subway sandwich. I took a shower, dressed, put my makeup on  and left.

I'm doing okay. I do think I will recover nicely, just need a good nights sleep. I'm not that swollen or achy.

So, even though the Mt. Hood 50 was a harder race than my first 50 and took 2 hours longer, it  felt easier the 2nd time around.

50 miles 11:50:49. Overall place 119/171

Prayer for my 50 mile race

I believe God gave me the ability to run as well as I do. I believe it was a gift. It is a gift that I have used well and have not wasted.

Every race has been a positive, life changing experience. Since marathon #1 in 2005, every mile put in during the grueling hours of training, every mile at the races, I have grown and learned something about myself. Running has taught me patience, it has taught me about hard work, self discipline, self respect and strength.

I do not know who I would be if I was not a runner. It is who I am. I am a runner.

At my first 50 mile race, I went into the prayer room at church 1 week before my race and asked for prayer. I asked that I would be successful and that I would be a positive example to others around me.

I was not able to do that for this 50 coming up on 7/30. So I will do it publicly.

"Dear Jesus, I humbly come before you and thank you for the gift that you have given me. I ask that you will give me strength during my 50 mile run. I ask for protection and for encouragement. I ask that your angels will be all over that course guiding me and I ask that I would finish the race. I ask the same thing for everyone else who is competing. In Jesus name, Amen"

Go Mt. Hood 50!!!

Just over a week till the Mt. Hood 50, my 2nd 50. How was my training?

Do you remember this post? I wrote this at the earliest stages in training for my 2nd 50. Yes I feel silly now. I will let you read it and I will see you at the end of this posting.

http://heavenlystrength.blogspot.com/2011/03/hey-did-you-hear-that-im-training-for.html 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hey did you hear that I'm training for 50 and afraid to run?

Have you ever heard of a runner who is training for 50 miles that was fearful of running?

This is me.

The pictures are proof that I can run.

Yes, you heard me correct. I have a mental block, I guess, completely afraid to run.

The reason? For a few years now, it has been my goal to run the Mt. Hood 50 miler. I am now signed up for it, the run is scheduled for July 30th, 2011 and it will be my 2nd 50.

A few weeks ago, I pulled my hamstring, 3 days later, it went out again on a walk, well I jogged slowly for about 30 seconds. I pulled out of a difficult race coming up, the McDonald Forest 50K. It is a good decision, I know. But, according to the 50 mile training schedule, training started yesterday, Monday. It only starts out at 2. I walked it. I kept hearing in my head, try to run, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Too afraid.
I came home, complained a little on Facebook, this led to a doctor replying and a friend telling me to go on chat. Well they both helped me through it. I knew that I had to conquer this silly fear or it was going to kill me.
At first I kept walking back and forth in front of my house, pacing. I would limp around or whatever you want to call it, it wasn't running, it was strange. I wondered how many of my neighbors were watching. I then decided to go change so that I could look like a runner, at least. I started off real slowly, I mean really slowly, completely freaked out.

But then I saw 2 pennies. And I remembered an email and movie that I read and saw. The email said that when you find a penny, it means an angel is thinking of you and the movie said pennies are only good luck when they are heads up. They were heads up. I picked them up.

While I only went .78 on Monday, I did go 2 today and yes I was nervous, but not freaked out.

Hey, I'm training for 50 miles. Aren't I making progress?

Posted by Jeannie at 10:12 AM

Well that big race is coming up in just over a week. Looking back at my training, it's been good, hard yes, but good. I realized that when I trained for my first 50, I tweaked it. I ran 31 miles one weekend, then 16, 20. It is supposed to go 31, 24, 26. I had made it easier on me! Plus, I've been training for a trail ultra at altitude.


Having moved to a new city, home of the Redwood Forest. I had to learn to adjust to a new forest. A forest that has bears and cougars or at least the threat of them. It is a forest that was not populated with people...hikers, other runners. There were a lot of runs where I never saw anyone! Scary! And carrying 2 different sizes of pepper spray, a body alarm and a whistle were the norm. Just today, I had to change my running route as I got this in my email inbox;

"Early this morning 2 big mountain lions were seen near the tobacco shop out by HWY 101. They will attack if they are surprised, so be noisy. It is very easy for them to catch and kill an elk as we have carcasses right now at the new resort site."

My elk, I ran by them all the time. Remember when I was about 10 feet from one?

I had a lot of interesting long runs. One 25 miler, I had too many pain killers and ended up throwing up at mile 19 in the Redwood Forest, throwing up for the remainder 6 miles. Sorry caterpillars. No offense! On another long distance run, I had a bad reaction to some over the counter medication and after throwing up for 3 hours in the morning, I still ran the run and finished. In June, I traveled to Mt. Hood for a training run. It was a 28 mile training run. There were just 2 girls. It was a huge eye opening experience. That is one hard trail with some big elevation. I even came home with an ouch!

After I ran 31 miles a few weeks ago, using the Sunriver Marathon, it was hard to recover. The runs that followed, were hard. My legs were mad, but I put in the mileage at the trail. It was tough! I ran the 24 miles in an extremely slow time of 6:25, I was just dragging. The 26 mile was better, but not great. And the hills! They were tough. But, I'm tapering now and I am certain that all my hard work has paid off.

I'll tell you two secrets. 1. That forest was always scary, I always just put on a brave face. I had to. I had to run in the forest. I had to get brave and fast! 2.I am scared to run this race, but that is normal. I will be shaking at the starting line. My friend keeps asking me if I'm excited and the answer of course is NO!!!

I am traveling to Portland next week, with my girls to visit family and run this crazy run, that starts at 5:30 AM. I will be successful! Do or die, right? I got this, piece of cake.

 I will let you know how it goes.

How to listen to your child

When I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to have my mom listen, really listen to me. I had wished that she were more like my friends mom, who did that.

I was reminded of this this week as I sat and really listened to someone who is hurting deeply. As I sat and listened, I asked questions such as "tell me more and how does that make you feel, why do you supposed that happened." Her big wish now is that her own mom would just listen to her, hear what she is saying and then respond in a loving and appropriate manner.

I myself then realized that I wasn't even doing that with my own daughter and I thought, how easy is it as parents to not really listen to our own children, to just tell them to behave, tell them to be quiet or they need to do this or that or to talk above them? How easy do we act in dominance over them that we can't see the struggles that our children our facing?

Here is some research on the subject that I've discovered that I wanted to share;

10 Ways to Improve Communication Skills for Parents and Children

From birth, listening is the most used activity of daily living. Listening is a learned skill, and through focused and directed efforts, parents can teach their children and themselves better listening and speaking habits.

There are reasons why children ranging from toddlers to teens don't appear to listen to their parents. Specifically, they are:

- Many children have poor attention spans.
- They complain that parents talk over their heads.
- They say that parents don't understand children's thoughts, feelings and views.
- They regard their parents' communication as critical, judgmental and nagging.
- They associate their parents with constantly being told what to do.
- They believe parents harp on things they don't want to hear.
- They expect to be bored.
- They assume they know what their parents will say, so they don't bother to listen.

There are several things you can do to improve your children's listening habits and get them to listen to you. Here are 10 suggestions:

1. Start teaching listening skills early. It's never too late to start teaching these skills, since there's always room for improvement. But try to begin as early as possible. As children grow older, have "listening times" when you block out distractions. Bedtime and evening snack time in the kitchen are ideal chances for this. Reading is an excellent way to promote good listening, and while you read and talk to young children, prompt them to ask questions and comment on what you say.

2. Listen to your children in the way you like to be listened to. Be a good role model by hearing things in their words and making them feel important while they are talking to you. Since they sense when you're not listening, they're much more apt to listen to you when you listen to them.

3. Let your child complete what he is saying. "It's a waste of time to talk to my parents," a teenager pointed out. "They stop me while I'm speaking to say 'don't talk like that' or they break in and change the subject to something on their minds."

4. Set a good example by establishing eye contact with your child. Children feel you're not listening when you're glancing out the window or peering across the room. Eye contact is of value from the earliest age, so teach your children to give and receive it by meeting them at their own eye level when you are saying something to them and when they are speaking to you.

5. Watch your tone of voice and facial expression. Too often your voice and expression speak as loudly as your words, and if you are bored while your children are talking, they're likely to react the same way to you while you are speaking to them.

6. Teach your children to indicate by their actions that they are listening. Along with showing by your expression that you're paying attention to them, guide your children into showing by their expressions that they are listening to you. The child who looks up from a coloring book with a blank expression may very well hear what you're saying and still not be listening. Actually when people say, "If only you would listen," they really mean "If only you'd listen and show that you're listening."

7. Talk to your child about common interests. To facilitate communication, talk to your child about areas of common interest.

8. See things from your children's viewpoint. A teenager who lives in a world of his own and refuses to listen to his parents may state he started tuning them out when they never listened to his ideas or respected what he wanted to do.

9. Know when to talk and when not to talk. There are times to keep quiet, so develop a sensitivity to both. Wait until a teenager demonstrates a readiness to talk before you expect him to listen to your well-intentioned words. When a child comes home after a bad day in school, don't get on his back immediately with something you want him to hear.

10. Reward your children occasionally when they display good listening habits. If children show they are good listeners, they should have an occasional reward. Giving them positive, specific feedback, attention and praise are very effective. In this way, if their attention span is short or they're easily distracted they see that if they listen and follow through on what you say, there may be an external reward at the end. Pretty soon, there is also an internal reward, as they learn that listening to you helps them to accomplish their goals.


Acknowledgement:

Olsen Huff Child Development Center
Dr. Adrian Sandler - Medical Director
Mission Children's Hospital, Asheville, NC
http://www.missionhospitals.org/childrens-huff.htm 


How to Listen to Your Child
From your Parenting of K-6 Children Guide
The most valuable gift you can give your child is to listen to the little and big things in his life. Begin early so that the lines of communication will be open during the teenage years.
Difficulty Level: Easy    Time Required: 15 Minutes

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Here's How:

1. Stop what you are doing.
2. Look at your child.
3. Pay attention to your child's nonverbal language. Does the child look happy, sad, afraid?
4. Be silent.
5. Use simple acknowledgement responses that show you are listening. "I see. Oh. Uh-Huh. Hmmm."
6. Use door-openers, phrases that encourage further talking. "Tell me more. Go on. How do you feel about that? I know what you mean. Then what?"
7. Listen for and name the feelings you think you hear from what your child is telling you. "That made you pretty mad, didn't it? You seem really happy about that!"
   

Tips:

1. Don't feel that you must advise or help your child come up with a solution all the time. The value of listening is in the listening itself.
2. Listening helps parents and children avoid the power struggle cycle. Instead of arguing, listen. Show your understanding while maintaining your position.

And here is a great link that is full of information; http://life.familyeducation.com/parenting/communication/45281.html?page=2&detoured=1

An Honest Look at Divorce

I found this article interesting, wanted to share. There are way too many people in this world that choose to throw away their marriages and the results to their children are devastating.  The statistics for a 2nd and 3rd marriage leave me to wonder what is the point.  I've also included my own written piece on marriage at the bottom.

An Honest Look at Divorce

Topic(s): Separation and Divorce

http://www.marriagemissions.com/an-honest-look-at-divorce/

Ours has been called the throwaway society. Our foods are packaged in beautiful containers designed to be thrown away. Our cars and household appliances are planned for obsolescence. Our furniture is given to the Goodwill shop not because it is no longer functional but because it is no longer in style. Our unwanted pregnancies are even “thrown away.” Business relationships are sustained only so long as they are profitable to the bottom line.
Thus, it is no shock that our society has come to accept the concept of a “throw-away marriage.” If we are no longer happy with each other and our relationship has run upon hard times, the easy thing is to abandon the relationship and start over.
I wish that I could recommend divorce as an option. When I listen to the deeply pained people my natural response is to cry, “Get out, get out, get out! Abandon the loser and get on with your life.” That would be our approach if we had purchased bad stock. Get out before the stock falls further.
But a spouse is not stock. A spouse is a person—a person with emotions, personality, desires, and frustrations; a person to whom we were deeply attracted at one point in our lives, a person for whom we had warm feelings and genuine care. So deeply were we attracted to each other that we made a public commitment of our lives to each other “so long as we both shall live.” Now we have a history together: We may even have parented children together.
We cannot walk off from a spouse as easily as we can sell bad stock. Yet divorce as a solution to marital problems has proliferated. Divorce now is so widespread that sociologists have been able to complete extensive long-term studies on the effect of divorce upon the couple and their children.
Judith S Wallerstein, director of the largest divorce recovery center in the country has done extensive research following divorced couples for fifteen years after the divorce with regular interviews and inventories, seeking to determine the effects of divorce. Her findings are radically different from what she supposed. Wallerstein entered her research with the commonly held idea that divorce is a painful but short-term experience that leads to greater long-term happiness; she theorized that divorce indeed provided a second chance for one who had made a poor marital choice. Her research led her to a far different conclusion.
According to Dr Wallerstein, the couple and their children never outlive the scars of divorce. Her findings are chronicled in the classic study Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce.
Couples have various goals, Wallerstein concluded, but they are rarely realized, for divorce greatly complicates things:

“Whatever the reasons behind the decision, most people ending a marriage hope to improve the quality of life for themselves and for their children. They hope to find a new love, a more enriching relationship, a more responsive sexual partner, a more supportive companion, and a better provider. Failing that, they hope to establish a single life that will provide greater opportunity for self respect, contentment and serenity, or at the least, less turbulence, intrusiveness, and hurt.
“People want to believe that divorce will relieve all their stresses —back we go to square one and begin our lives anew. But divorce does not wipe the slate clean… Few adults anticipate accurately what lies ahead when they decide to divorce. Life is almost always more arduous and more complicated than expect.”

Here are some of the revealing statistics of Wallerstein’s fifteen-year study, and the researcher’s response to the findings:

“Incredibly, one-half of the women and one third of the men are still intensely angry at their former spouses, despite the passages of years… To our astonishment, divorce continues to occupy a central, emotional position in the lives of many adults, 10 and 15 years later… A third of the women and a quarter of the men feel that life is unfair, disappointing and lonely.
“I knew that divorce is not an event that can be gotten over if one simply waits long enough, but even I was surprised at the staying power of feelings after divorce… There is no evidence that time automatically diminishes feelings or memories, that hurt and depression are overcome, or that jealousy, anger, and outrage will vanish… People go on living, but just because they have lived 10 more years does not mean they have recovered from the hurt.”

And what of the children of divorce? When parents divorce, children lose something that is fundamental to their development-the family structure. Typically, children feel intensely rejected when their parents divorce. Wallerstein agreed, noting, “Children get angry at their parents for violating the unwritten rules of parenthood-parents are supposed to make sacrifices for children, not the other way around. Some keep their anger hidden for years out of fear of upsetting parents or for fear of retribution and punishment, others show it.”
She concludes: “Children do not perceive divorce as a second chance, and this is part of their suffering. They feel that their childhood has been lost forever… Although children need parents and parents want to continue good relationships with their children, parent-child relationships are forever altered by divorce.”
Because we are creatures of memory and relationships, we carry the pain of broken relationships for a lifetime. Children whose parents have divorced put themselves in a different category, referring to themselves as “children of divorce.” They recognize that the parents’ divorce has made its mark on them emotionally. Many fear for their own future marital happiness and, in fact, the divorce rate for children of divorce is higher than those whose parents remain together.
Only a small percentage of divorced individuals claim to have found greater happiness in a second or third marriage. In fact, whereas the divorce rate in first marriages is 40%, the divorce rate in second marriages is 60% and in third marriages, 75%. Thus, the prospects of finding a healthier marriage diminish with each remarriage. The hope of the grass being greener on the other side is just a myth.
Divorce, unlike death, does not end the partners’ contact with each other. Most end up living in the same city, particularly if children are involved. Each parent wants to continue a relationship with the children; thus, they find themselves having regular contact with each other whether they want it or not. The nature of these contacts often keep the wounds of a broken relationship oozing with infection for years.
Financially caring for the children is an obligation that cannot be discarded by a caring parent. Differences of opinion on handling the financial needs of the children often becomes a constant source of irritation between ex-spouses. Then there are the piano recitals, the ball games, the graduations, are the weddings —all of which are filled with tension as two parents seek to be there for their children while not being there for each other. Many of life’s joyous occasions are dampened by the attitudes of two ex-spouses who have different opinions about how the celebration should be conducted.
Nor is divorce a pretty picture financially. The Wallerstein study found that 73% of divorced women experience a decline in standard of living after divorce. Evelyn was sitting in my office two years after her divorce from Bill. “Our marriage was bad,” she said, “but our divorce is even worse. I still have all the responsibilities I had when we were married, but now I have less time and less money. When we married, I worked part time to help out with the bills. Now I have to work full time, which gives me less time with the girls. When I am at home, I seem to be more irritable. I find myself snapping at the girls when they don’t respond immediately to my request.
“I hate being the kind of mother I am, and I get no support from Bill. When he does take the girls, which is about every third weekend, he makes it a party time for them —no chores, no work, no responsibilities, just fun with Dad. They come home resenting me for expecting them to do anything. Sometimes I wish that he’d just get out of our lives, but I know that the girls need to have a relationship with their father. It doesn’t seem to get any easier, and I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.” Thousands of divorced moms can identify with Evelyn. Divorce doesn’t treat them fairly. The stresses of meeting the physical and emotional needs of their children at times seem overwhelming.
Not all who undergo divorce experience such hardship yet, all find the adjustments painful, even when divorce is followed by remarriage. Wayne was all smiles when he said to me, “I finally met the love of my life. We are going to get married in June. I’ve never been happier. She has two children, and I adore them.
When I was going through my divorce, I never dreamed that I would be happy again. I believe now that I’m about to get my life back on track.” Wayne had been divorced three years at the time of our conversation. However, six months after his marriage to Beverly, he was back in my office complaining about his inability to get along with Beverly and her children.
“It’s like I’m outsider,” he said. “She always puts the children before me. And when I seek to discipline the children, she takes their side and disagrees with me. I can’t spend a dime without her approval. I’ve never been so miserable in my life. How did I set myself get into this mess?” Wayne is experiencing the common struggles of establishing a “blended family.”
There are no “and they all lived happily ever after” divorces. The effects of divorce linger for a lifetime. This is not to say that there is no life after divorce. It is to say that life after divorce is always impacted by life before the divorce. Because the marriage relationship is unique among human relationships and involves deep emotional ties on the part of the husband and wife (at least at some juncture in the relationship, because they have shared their lives with each other for a period of time), there’s no “walking away without pain.” The good and bad memories of the past will be ours forever, and whatever contact we may have with each other in the future, the reality of our problems will still exist.
Through the years I have counseled enough divorced persons to know that while divorce removes some pressures, it creates a host of others. I am not naïve enough to suggest that divorce can be eliminated from the human landscape. I am saying that divorce should be the last possible alternative. It should be preceded by every effort at reconciling differences, dealing with issues, and solving problems. Far too many couples in our society have opted for divorce too soon at too great a price. I believe that many divorced couples could have reconciled if they had sought and found proper help.

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The above article came from the book, Loving Solutions by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. Unfortunately, this book is no longer being published, which is unfortunate, because in it Gary Chapman offers loving solutions to the most complicated and stubborn marital problems such as: the pain of living with an unfaithful spouse… the frustration of living with an alcoholic spouse… the emotional drain of living with a depressed spouse… the burden of living with an irresponsible spouse… the workaholic spouse… the controlling spouse… the uncommunicative spouse… the verbally abusive spouse… the physically abusive spouse… the sexually abused/abusive spouse and more.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011 By Jeannie Horton

Marriage: For better or for worse, till death do we part?

You’re standing up in front of a room full of family and friends. You just paid a ton of money on the wedding of your dreams. You look at your spouse and mouth "I love you forever." You recite your vows that go something like this;  "I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. _____, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife." The lady in the back room who has been divorced 4 times is thinking "at least until someone better comes along!" Am I right? So what happens? In 2-10 years and a few kids later (hopefully not), your headed for divorce court with the spouse whom you apparently now hate and crying little ones.

 It is my opinion that people get divorce too easily. 

Marriages are full of problems. You are two unique individuals and are bound to have conflict. People grow and people change. Sorry men, your wife will indeed change on you and women, your hunky, wonderful husband is going to change on you. Marriage is designed for you to grow and change, work through your problems. Stay together! 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~ Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is
not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or
resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

I hear often, "I am just not in love with him anymore!" Are you sure? Are you sure it isn't the feeling that you are currently having right now? A feeling that could change based on a different circumstance? Try, really, really, really try to work through your differences with the attitude that you will do anything and everything to make it work out. You took vows and all marriages can be fixed. Find a way.

1 Peter 4:8 ~ Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.

I think the only reason anyone should ever get a divorce is infidelity and domestic violence.

Below is a current divorce rate per country. It's upsetting.

In ranking order of most divorces:

# 1  
United States:
4.95 per 1,000 people 

# 2  
Puerto Rico:
4.47 per 1,000 people 

# 3  
Russia:
3.36 per 1,000 people 

# 4  
United Kingdom:
3.08 per 1,000 people 

# 5  
Denmark:
2.81 per 1,000 people 

# 6  
New Zealand:
2.63 per 1,000 people 

# 7  
Australia:
2.52 per 1,000 people 

# 8  
Canada:
2.46 per 1,000 people 

# 9  
Finland:
1.85 per 1,000 people 

# 10  
Barbados:
1.21 per 1,000 people 

# 11  
Guadeloupe:
1.18 per 1,000 people 

# 12  
Qatar:
0.97 per 1,000 people 

# 13  
Portugal:
0.88 per 1,000 people 

# 14  
Albania:
0.83 per 1,000 people 

# 15  
Tunisia:
0.82 per 1,000 people 

# 16  
Singapore:
0.8 per 1,000 people 

# 17  
China:
0.79 per 1,000 people 

# 18  
Greece:
0.76 per 1,000 people 

# 19  
Brunei:
0.72 per 1,000 people 

# 20  
Panama:
0.68 per 1,000 people 

# 21  
Syria:
0.65 per 1,000 people 

# 22  
Thailand:
0.58 per 1,000 people 

# 23  
Mauritius:
0.47 per 1,000 people 

# 24  
Ecuador:
0.42 per 1,000 people 

# 25  
El Salvador:
0.41 per 1,000 people 

# 26  
Cyprus:
0.39 per 1,000 people 

= 27  
Chile:
0.38 per 1,000 people 

= 27  
Jamaica:
0.38 per 1,000 people 

= 29  
Mongolia:
0.37 per 1,000 people 

= 29  
Turkey:
0.37 per 1,000 people 

# 31  
Mexico:
0.33 per 1,000 people 

# 32  
Italy:
0.27 per 1,000 people 

# 33  
Brazil:
0.26 per 1,000 people 

# 34  
Sri Lanka:
0.15 per 1,000 people

My husband and I were married in 2002, 9 years ago. We have a daughter that is 10. We had a very rocky start to our marriage. I'd have to say that overall, there were more downs than ups. But as of today, we love each other and rarely fight. We've learned to work through our problems even the ugliest ones.

One of the things that was lacking in our relationship and it is my fault, was intimacy. I don't mean just sex, I mean hand holding, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and flirting.

God designed sex as a gift for married couples to enjoy within their marriage. 

There was one moment in our relationship that we were fighting badly. It was UGLY! To this day, I have know idea why we were even fighting. I was so convinced that I was going to divorce him and told him that I was going to do so. At the point, it was probably the 100th time I've threatened him. It was that day that I had the idea to make love everyday for a month and we did. It really brought us closer together as a couple. His little annoyances went away. I saw him as not only my husband, but my lover and friend. He said to me one day that he really cherishes this time in our marriage. After the month was over, we didn't keep it up every day, but made it very regular.

I am afraid that when my Dad had his stroke, that is when our marriage again started going downhill. We stopped being intimate. Even writing about my Dad's strokes, I feel pain inside, it hurt me so badly. That night of his stroke, we didn't know if he would live or die and it took him more than a month to recover in the hospital. I have my Dad back, but he isn't the same, has trouble with his speech.

When my family moved from Oregon to California, it was very hard on me and I went through a depression and I was angry. I missed Oregon, my family, friends. I didn't want to move, but I moved because my husband had the opportunity for a better position, with greater opportunity. How could I ever tell him that I didn't want to move with him? He's my husband, for better or worse. My depression kept up for a long time and it wasn't until his recent business trip to Phoenix that I chose to have a better attitude about life. I've done a blog entry on my experience with moving. Life is short, why continue being upset with a hard heart? When he came back, is when we started being intimate again and we still are.

I love him very much. I respect him as a person. We still have problems, what marriages doesn't? But we both know that you have to depend on yourself for your own happiness, no one can make you happy, only yourself. And, intimacy is very important in a marriage, even if it's sitting close on the couch, lending a helping hand, holding hands, a daily hug and make the time to do these things.  

 

I love the girl who believed in me before I believed in myself. I love the girl who never complained about huge school bills and books and hot apartments and rented junky furniture and no vacations and humble little Volkswagen's. You have been with me-encouraging me, loving me and supporting me since August 27, 1960. And the status you have given me in our home is beyond what I have deserved.
So Why do I want to go on living? It's because I have you to take that journey with. Otherwise, why make the trip? The half life that lies ahead promises to be tougher than the years behind us...Everything within me screams "No!" But my Dad's final prayer is still valid-"We know it can't always be the way it is now." When that time comes, our childhoods will then be severed-cut off by the passing of the beloved parents who bore us. What then, my sweet wife? To whom will I turn for solace and comfort? To whom can I say, "I'm hurting!" and know that I am understood in more than an abstract manner? To whom can I turn when the summer leaves begin to change colors and fall to the ground? How much I have enjoyed the springtime and the warmth of the summer sun...But alas, autumn is coming. Even now, i can feel a little nip in the air-and I try not to look at a distant, lone cloud that passes near the horizon. I must face the fact that winter lies ahead-with its ice and sleet and snow to pierce us through. But in the instance, winter will not be followed by springtime, except in the glory of the life to come. With whom, then, will I spend that final season f my life?
None but you, Shirls. The only joy of the future will be in experiencing it as we have the past twenty-one years-hand in hand with the one I love...a young miss named Shirley Deere, who gave me everything she had-including her heart.
Thank you, babe, for making this journey with me. let's finish it-together!
Your Jim
That is known as marital bonding!
Passage written by James C. Dobson
http://heavenlystrength.blogspot.com/2011/05/marriage-for-better-or-for-worse-till.html

Posted by Jeannie at 11:50 AM

26+ mile training run for July 9th

For today's run, I was scheduled to run 26 miles. It is my last long run until I run the Mt. Hood 50.

Post run, I am walking around like my feet hurt, have rejected a dinner invitation and am nibbling on leftover cheesy rice.

So how did the run go? Way better than last week! I skipped my 10 mile training run yesterday so that I could be more refreshed, likely helped. I first ran 8.44 miles on the road, then 18.40 on the trails with my new Brooks Cascadia. They had about a hour of break in time yesterday. They are the best.

So for today's run highlights:
I got about 10 feet away from a group of Elk on the side of the road, only one was brave enough and didn't run off. I was nervous though.
A dead raccoon scared me.
I had to use the restroom twice. The second time was in the woods and oops, I went on my leg. I know, so gross!
I did three different trails. The first had rolling hills and I stayed on it the most. The 2nd is super steep. I meant to go a mile on it, but heard a dog barking and got spooked, so I was only on it for 1 1/2 miles. The 3rd is my normal hilly route and I was on it for 2 miles.
The last highlight is that I have no marks on my back to share with all of you. I put 4 big band-aids on and since someone told me to wear my sports bra inside out, I did. Oh and I also put on not only Body Glide, but my deodorant/antiperspirant.

26.84 miles in 5:51.

My heart goes out to the kids

I believe in being a positive example for not only my children, but the children that I come into contact with me.

I try to leave them with something positive that they can hold on to.
I've encouraged children to pursue their dreams and I've been a positive example to my own through my running. 

I believe that all children should have a happy childhood. Period. They do not need the stresses that adults place on them.

It is extremely devastating to witness parents that are bad examples, parents whose selfish activities leave a negative mark on their kids. It's heartbreaking. These kids are wounded inside and out. These kids often hold their emotions inside and do not know who to turn to for support. They are destroyed inside. I've seen it first hand and my heart and soul cries out.

My biggest wish is that through my communication with them, they leave with something positive that they can hold on to when they go back to their world of heart ache, frustration, tears and emptiness.

All children should have a happy childhood and it's never too late.

24 mile run for 7/2. Do I have to talk about it?

Do I need to say more about now my run went today? Yes, they hurt. I started feeling the pain at mile 12. I has to put my sandwich bags over them for protection. And  yes, I screamed in the shower.

Have  you ever heard the expression "training is harder than the actual race?" Well I can swear that it's true.

I swear that I hit the wall during today's run 3 times. I've never have before, but I swear it happened 3 times.

Okay, okay. Ran from my house to the forest via my favorite hilly trail. Ran my the whole distance of my favorite trail, getting me to mile 10. The elevation goes from 200 to 800. I then ran a less hilly route to mile 15. From mile 10 to mile 15, I was struggling, not hallucinating just yet, but wasn't having any fun. I then saw a side trail and I knew it was hilly, so I ran up it, but only for a mile. During that mile the elevation goes from 100 to 600. If I had gone the whole distance, it would have gone up to 2000 by the time I reached 5 miles. I'll save it for next week, right? Turned around and started running back.. Funny thing, I'd be running and noticed that my pace was 15! I'd walk and noticed that it was 14! I was walking faster than I was running!! Totally ridiculous!!!The rest of the way wasn't much fun. And I have no idea what happened with my new watch. It started acting crazy for awhile....or maybe I was hallucinating.  It said I was going a 7 min pace and the distance was going accordingly. When I got home, it said that I ran 26.09 and I don't think so.

1 week after running a 50K and running 30 miles throughout the week, I ran 24 miles in a extremely slow speed of 6:25 min.

I'm tired.